Endings, transitions and new beginnings
I have been going through huge change in my life recently. This has really made me think about endings, times of transition, and new beginnings. In this blog post, I am going to share my reflections with you and which essential oils I have found to be most helpful for each. But first, let me tell you about the huge changes in my life.
Since Paul died in May of 2018, I was never really happy in Ireland. When the pandemic hit, I went to Germany to be with my family; I was just so afraid that otherwise I might never see them again because I didn’t know, and nobody did, what this virus would do to us and how dangerous it was and how much it would impact all our lives. For the next 18 months, my parents and I were cocooning together. I will forever be grateful for that time I had with my parents. I was very creative during that time: I wrote my book “When to love means to let go”, translated my book into German, published my book on Amazon and Audible, did online courses, gave Reiki workshops and Mindfulness Meditation classes and updated my website. But my parents and I also spent a lot of time with walks in nature, listening to music, watching tv, cooking and eating lovely food… Also during those 18 months, my granddad died and I was able to spend a lot of time with my grandmother particularly during the first weeks after his death which she found very helpful. Also during those 18 months, my dad was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease; and I was glad to be able to be there as my parents were getting used to their new reality. When I finally went back to Ireland last autumn, I found that I couldn’t settle back in anymore, something had forever changed. I flew back and forth between Ireland and Germany during the months that followed. I was beginning to feel that perhaps I wouldn’t be able to stay in Ireland much longer. Then this summer came. I had decided to spend most of it with my parents in Germany. During this time, I was offered a job on a palliative care and oncology ward of a well-known German hospital, not far from where my parents live. I had applied for the position earlier in the year not with much hope or expectation that I would be offered the job. But there I was, invited to two job interviews, and afterwards told that they needed someone like me on their team. Also during this summer, I met a wonderful man and fell in love; and even though this man will never be able to replace my beloved Paul, nobody ever could, and I wouldn’t want anybody to, a relationship with mutual love and understanding, kindness and care, joy and fun and everything else that is part of a good relationship suddenly seems possible again. I feel that the new job and the new relationship was the final push I needed to decide that it was time to end the chapter of my life in Ireland and to begin a new one in Germany. So I went back to Ireland one last time, put my house up for sale, packed up all my personal belongings and shipped them off to Germany, did one last month of work at Healing Well in Monkstown, met up with a couple of friends, and finally came back to Germany exactly one week ago – exhausted but also proud of myself for having sorted everything in such a short period of time.
Reflections on endings
The first thing that comes to mind is that there are so many different endings in life and that endings are experienced differently by everyone. There are endings that come with a sense of loss, great sadness and grief such as the loss of a loved one or the end of a beautiful and deeply meaningful relationship. There are endings that come with a sense of joy like when, for example, something we didn’t like or didn’t want in our life comes to an end. For so many people who are dying after long illness the end of their life comes as a joyful event, something to be excited about, such a relief, because life hasn’t felt good anymore. There are endings that come with a huge sense of relief like, for example, when it took a long time for us to get to a decision that initiated this ending, when we had to wait for the ending to come for a long time. And those are only two examples of how endings can be experienced. I invite you to think about the endings in your life and how you have experienced them.
There has to be endings to create new beginnings. An old year ends and a New Year begins, full of promises of change and new experiences. Every winter has to end for spring to come. Mitch Album, author of “The Five People You Meet in Heaven”, wrote: “All endings are also beginnings. We just don’t know it at the time.” It’s a great way to look at endings in our lives. Some endings, such as the death of a loved one, will leave us sad, but if we can accept it as an entire host of good memories and eventually go on with what the new beginnings have in store for us, we’ll live a happier and more fulfilled life. Each step in our life is necessary for us to continue growing. For example, the end of high school or college signifies the beginning of an adult lifestyle and possibly a career that we’ve studied for. Also, every New Year is an opportunity for us to sit down and figure out what we want to do differently this year that will make us a better and happier person. Do we want to lose weight, quit smoking, move on to another job, be kinder to your family and friends, make new friends, take up a new hobby? Now is the time to rethink and reset our goals and make the necessary changes in our life.
We don’t have to like all of the endings occurring in our life, but we do need to accept the reality of what they are. If we don’t learn to accept endings to allow for new beginnings, we could simply give up and that would mean unhappiness and a lifetime of regrets.
What essential oils to use to support ourselves during endings?
The first oil that comes to mind is balance, doTERRA’s grounding blend, a combination of tree oils which promotes groundedness, stability, and resilience. It is with me wherever I go and particularly over these last couple of weeks I couldn’t have been without it. Another essential oil which is very helpful particularly when the ending comes with sadness or grief is Console, doTERRA’s comforting blend, a combination of tree and flower essences that promotes feelings of being safely held and of being comforted.
Reflections on transitions
We find ourselves in a time of transition when something has ended but the New hasn’t yet arisen. It is the time, short or long, between an ending and a new beginning. Transitions are experienced differently by everyone. Some experience transitions as very exciting and joyful periods and love the in-between time. For others times of transition come with fear; it’s interesting that everything in our life is uncertain, but it is in times of transition that we feel it most. For some of us times of transition are a great opportunity to learn to be in the flow, absolutely present in the here and now, because the past is already gone and the future has not yet arisen and so all we have is the Now.
What essential oils to use during times of transition?
There are a number of oils that come to mind when we talk about times of transition. The best one is, once again, the grounding blend from doTERRA because it promotes stability and balance. Another important essential oil is the detoxification blend from doTERRA, a combination of essential oils designed for times of transition and change, designed to help us let go of what no longer serves and to be open and allowing for the New. Abor Vitae is another essential oil that comes to mind because as one of the tree oils it is very grounding, but it also promotes trust in the divine, helping us to surrender to what Is without the need to change or control anything.
Reflections on new beginnings
New beginnings, very much like endings and transitions, occur for different reasons and are experienced differently by everyone. Sometimes new beginnings are experienced with excitement and joy. Sometimes new beginnings come with a sense of fear like when we don’t know what to expect or how to behave in the new situation and we know that it’ll take some time to get used to the new situation.
What essential oils can support us during new beginnings
There are so many essential oils we can use in times of new beginnings. They can be essential oils that promote grounding like the grounding blend, Vetiver, Ceaderwood or any other of the tree oils. We can also use Citrus Bliss, doTERRA’s invigorating blend which promotes motivation and creativity. Lemon essential oil promotes focus and ideal conditions for learning. But also the DNA repairing blend from doTERRA which promotes the ability to deal with change and transformation is ideal in times of new beginnings.
My recent experience with endings, transitions and new beginnings
I know that I will miss Ireland for many different reasons – so, yes, there is sadness with this ending and a certain kind of grief not only because I have left this beautiful country and its people but also for the life Paul and I were not able to have because of his early death. I do know, however, that I have made the right decision in coming back to Germany because I wouldn’t have been able to be truly happy there again. I trust that my decision was right. There is relief with this ending too because after months and months of thinking about what to do, endless discussions in my own head of “will I? Won’t I?” I have come to a decision, have acted upon it, and don’t have to think about this anymore.
Transitions used to scare me a lot. But, this time, I experience it as an exciting time, a time that challenges me to be in the present moment, to surrender to what IS, to go with the flow.
The new beginning fills me with excitement and joy. Well, and I would lie to you if I said that there isn’t any fear. Of course it is a little scary too. I feel far from settled of course because I haven’t started my new job and because I am still living with my mum and not in my own apartment and I don’t know yet where the new relationship is going to go. But I do trust that all will be well.
I hope that what I have shared here will be a help to you when you are faced with big or small transitions in your life, when things come to an end and the New wants to come into your life. Be open to your endings, be open to your new beginnings. They are part of the journey of life. Without them nothing would ever move forward, nothing would ever change. And relax during the times of transition, surrender into the Now.